DISSERTATION TITLES
THAT SUGGEST THE AUTHOR
WAS PREOCCUPIED WITH OTHER ISSUES
AT THE TIME OF WRITING.
By Zhubin Parang
From Anaphase to Telophase: The Complex Steps of Cell Separation, None of Which, Incidentally, Involve Divorce Lawyers
Various Expressions of Human Cognitive Ability: Why There Are Many Ways to Measure Intelligence Besides LSAT Scores, Stanford
The Birth of Jury Trials: A Complete Translation of Lord Mansfield's Trial Notes, for Which I Will Finally Earn My Father's Respect
Bond Rates as a Function of Market Equilibrium: Please, God, Don't Let Me Be Pregnant
Multiracial Community Development at a Crossroads: The Effect of�Aw, F uck, What's the Point?
Experiential Deviations in Quantum�SWEET JESUS, THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!
- - - -
INAPPROPRIATE "DO IT" SLOGANS.
By Jeremy Martin
Cardiologists do it 'til your heart stops.
Poison Control Hotline operators do it 'til you puke.
Catholic priests do it 'til you hit puberty.
Vice presidents do it from an undisclosed location.
Trekkies do it 'til their mom comes home.
Donkey anesthesiologists do it 'til your ass falls asleep.
