10 Husbands abd still a virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
Pinky quotes
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Pinky are you Pondering what I am Pondering?
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Sure, Brain, but how are we going to find chaps our size?
I think so, Brain, but where we going to find a duck and a host at this hour?
Well, I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so.
I think so Brain, but this time you put the trousers on the chimp.
I think so Brain, but this time you wear the tutu.
I think so Brain, but me and Pipi Longstocking, I mean, what would the children look like?
Well, I think so Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels.
Wuh, I think so Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?
Uh ... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?
I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?
I think so Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so.
Wuh, I think so, but wel'll never get a monkey to use dental floss.
I think so Brain, but if they called them "sad meals", kids wouldn't buy them.
Well, I think so Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.
Aww, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career ... uh, it's all too much for me.
I think so Brain, but there's still a bug in there from last time.
I think so Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent.
I think so Brain, but I don't think Kay Ballard is in the union?
Yes, I am!
I think so Brain, but the Rockettes? I mean, it's mostly girls, isn't it?
I think so Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes makes me look chubby.
Well, I think so Brain, but panyhose are so uncomfortable in the summertime.
I think so Brain, but it's a miracle this one grew back.
Well, I think so Brain but first you'd have to take that whole bridge apart wouldn't you?
I think so, Brain, but "Snowball for Windows"?
Well, I think so Brain, but "apply North Pole" to what?
I think so Brain, but, snort, no, no, it's too stupid.
Umm, I think so Don Cerebro, but umm, why would Sophia Loren do a musical?
Umm, I think so Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?
I think so Brain, but isn't that why they invented tube socks?
I think so Brain but what if we stick to the seat covers?
Ewww, I think so Brain, but I think I'd rather eat the Macarena.
I think so Brain, but don't we need a pool to play Marco Polo?
Well, I think so, but Kevin Costner with an English accent?
Well, I think so Brain, but do I really need two tongues?
Well, I think so Brain, but we're already naked.
We eat the box?
I think so Brain, but don't camels spit a lot?
I think so Brain, but Pete Rose? I mean, can we trust him?
I think so Brain, but how do we get a pair of Abe Vegoda's pants?
I think so Brain, but why would Peter Bogdanovich?
Well, I think so Brain but if Jimmy kcarcs corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
I think so Brain, but isn't a cucumber that small called a gerkin?
I think so Brain, but if we had a snowmobile, wouldn't it melt before summer?
I think so Larry, and Brain, but how we will get all seven dwarves to shave their legs.
I think so Brain, but how do we get the Spice Girls into the paella.
I think so Brain, but if we get Sam Spade, he'll never have any puppies.
Well, I think so Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
I think so Brain, but three round meals a day wouldn't be as hard to swallow.
But calling it Pu-Pu platter? What were they thinking?
I think so Brain, but if we give peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?
What was that?
I think so Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?
I think so Brain, but can the gummi worms really live in peace with the Marshmellow Chicks?
Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?
Yes, but why does the chicken cross the road, huh, if not for love? Oh, I don't know.
I think so Brain, but I prefer space jelly.
Oh Brain, I certainly hope so.
I think so Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tongue?
I think so Brain, but who wants to see Snow White and the Seven Samurai?
I think so Brain, but then my name would be "thumby".
I think so Brain, but I find scratching just makes it worse.
I think so Brain, but shouldn't the bat boy be wearing a cape.
Umm, I think so Brainie, but why would anyone want to Pierce Brosnan?
Me thinks so Brain, verily, but doest thou think Pete Rose by any other name would still smell as sweaty?
I think so Brain, but will they let the Cranberry Duchess stay in the Lincoln Bedroon?
I think so Brain, but why does a forklift have to be so big if all it does is lift forks?
I think so Brain, but wouldn't his movies be more suitable for children if he was named 'Jean Claude Van Darn'?
I think so Brain, but what if the hippopotimus won't wear the beach thong?
Whew! I'd say the odds of that are terribly slim.
I think so Brain, but if was only supposed to be a three hour tour, why did Howells bring all his money?
I think so Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything is still Zero Mostel.
I think so Brain, but if we have nothing to fear but fear itself, then why does Elenor Roosevelt wear that spooky mask?
Umm, I think so Big Brainy Fish Face Stove Pipe Wiggle Room Eileen. But if you get a long little doggie, wouldn't you just call it a dachshund?
I think so Brain, but then I'd have to know what pondering is, wouldn't I?
I think so Brain, but "instant karma" always gets so lumpy.
Umm, I think so Brain, but a show about two talking lab mice? It'll never get on the air!
